I want to make it clear that I am a Christian miniskirt

I really oughtn't to snark on fundamentalist Christianity, but sometimes it just sashays along in a low-cut article and asks for it.   When googling for something totally unrelated, I found  "She Maketh Herself Coverings," a tract by and for the ladies.  Mrs. Pastor Graf is concerned that even the most observant Baptist women are not dressing piously enough -- even the ones who have "put away [their] pants and all of our excuses for wearing them (i.e. it's cold, I'm going horseback riding, I just wear them around the house, etc.)  After all, who wants to dress like an abomination in God's sight?"
Nevertheless, if a little bit of flesh can be discerned under your clothing -- no matter how shapeless a jumper it may be -- you're in abomination territory.  She emphasizes that each time the Lord designed clothes for man, it was meant to be a robe -- that is, a complete covering of the body. 

We see how in the Bible God designed clothes three times and all three times He designed coverings.  . . .The Lord designed clothes . . .for the high priest's attire. They wore long robes with linen britches underneath the robe. A robe is not an "attention grabbing" article of clothing, is it? I mean, if you and your husband were going out of town on a romantic little getaway, what would his response be if you cuddled up next to him and whispered, "Honey, I want you to know that I'll be bringing my floor-length, long-sleeved, fuzzy, pink robe on this trip!" (Well, in the first place, he may have already fainted because you actually cuddled up to him... but that's another article!)

Of course!  A good woman is naturally frigid, and a smart one uses sex to control her husband, so naturally he'd be pretty surprised at cuddling. 

The article isn't a total howler, though.  I was actually interested to learn of the biblical basis for modern standards of clothing.  She says that

any part exposed above the knee is considered nakedness in the eyes of God. (Isaiah 47:2,3 "...make bare the leg, uncover the thigh, ...Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen."  Webster's dictionary defines the thigh as being the portion of the leg between the hip and the knee. Another verse that defines nakedness as an exposed thigh is Exodus 28:42.)

I wondered how it was that conservative Christians decided on a standard of dress.  Which raises the question: why am I taking the word of a fundamentalist for biblical interpretation?  For that matter, why do we find ostentatious modesty laughable in Baptists, but not in Orthodox Jews?  Interesting questions, and the answers are surely unflattering to me, but I digress.  There is a pressing issue at hand:

** A Word to Brides-to-be **

I am utterly amazed and shocked when I attend Christian weddings because of some of the bride's gowns I have seen. Here we have this wonderful, sweet, little Christian girl, who has dressed modestly and properly as long as she's been in the church. What happens on her wedding day? To quote a familiar passage- "June is bustin' out all over!" Please keep your standards as high as ever on this wonderful day! There have been brides I've been embarrassed to look in the eye because of her immodest apparel.

Really?  Imagine a grown woman blushing to look a young bride in the eye.  Mrs. Graf sure spends a lot of time thinking about female flesh.  So (as long as we're on this website) does Don W. Hillis, author of "The Mini-Skirt Speaks."

I want to make it clear that I am a Christian miniskirt. That is, I go to church every Sunday. What's more, I attend an evangelical Church. Of course, I am not the only Christian miniskirt in town. There are many others who go to my church.

Though we represent a variety of colors and patterns there is one thing we have in common. We all have a way of revealing attractive thighs, especially when the legs are crossed . . .  Unless I am misreading the situation we seem to make our wearers a bit self-conscious. At least the girl who wears me is always tugging at my hem.

Miniskirts have a lot to say to Hillis on Sunday mornings, although that, of course, is not his fault, is it?

Comments

[Ewin]

I am Jack's Miniskirt.

[anonymous]

You must have wayyy to much time on your hands- I’m sure part of your pathetic reason for posting this is to start some kind of controversy-you are assuming that most people who happen to stumble upon your caustic utterings will be outraged with Mrs. Graf and her "narrow minded, outdated, views" and if by chance a Christian with biblical beliefs should happen to read this you would love them to fire off some sort of rebuttal so that you could inflate your intellectual ego and pontificate all over again while tearing their comment to shreds, to avoid helping you obtain that satisfaction I will make this brief- I would have to think, in your mind you see yourself having evolved to such and a point that you can discredit the effects of sin in society… that the way the average high school girl dresses (modeling themselves after the likes of today’s MTV crowd) would have been considered whorish back in the 50's- and I’m sure you see no link to the rise in rapes and teen pregnancy and the immodesty of Americas young girls-
but being promiscuous in their early teenage years is good for them right? it gives them life experience, and pity the poor virgin who has decided to keep herself pure and not let some jerk who is driven by nothing more than hormones and mere lust show her what its like to "live" come “prom night”- poll the parents in abortion clinics… the experience was good for their daughters wasn't it? You should think before you go bashing, mocking, and accusing someone who bases their beliefs on the Word of God…I am not even a Christian but I happen to realize truth and logic when I see it.